A Second Chance
by Silvermoone
Summary: With the armies gathered, Alistair and his lover, Elissa Cousland, head to the Landsmeet to deal with the traitor, Loghain. But, when events take an unexpected turn, Alistair risks everything in his desire to see Loghain dead.
1. Chapter 1

**A Second Chance**

"I yield."  
A stunned silence fell over the Landsmeet. Loghain, the Hero of River Dane had yielded? How the mighty had fallen. All eyes turned towards Elissa Cousland, curious to see the outcome of this historic battle.  
She looked at Alistair, her blue eyes filled with regret, and he knew what she was going to say. Horrified, he watched as she turned her attention back to Loghain. "I accept your surrender."

For the space of a heartbeat, Alistair was too shocked to say anything, but then he found his voice. "I didn't hear you just say that, did I? You're sparing the life of the man who betrayed our brethren? Just kill him, already!"  
She met his furious gaze with a pleading look. "It's not that simple, Alistair, we could-"  
He cut her off with an angry swipe of his hand. "No, he doesn't deserve to be shown mercy."  
Before she could try and explain, Riordan stepped forward, saying, "I think what Elissa is trying to say, is that we can put Loghain through the Joining."  
She heard Alistair's swift intake of breath, and with a sinking heart, knew he would never accept that decision.  
Riordan was still talking, "We need every Grey Warden to defeat this Blight, Alistair."

But Alistair wasn't listening; his golden-brown eyes rested on Elissa's face. "You can't honestly be considering this? I thought we were of one mind when it came to Loghain's fate? He betrayed our brothers and sisters, and because of his retreat, Duncan died."  
Elissa put a hand on his arm, wanting to comfort the man she loved. "Alistair, please try to understand. You know the Grey Wardens must do whatever it takes to defeat the Blight, and if that means working with the enemy, then that is what we must do."

He pulled back from her touch, his eyes glittering, his face full of rage. "How can you even trust him to fight beside you? He ran once, what's to stop him from doing so again?"  
She swallowed back the pain that tore at her heart. "If he survives the Joining, he will be bound to the Darkspawn as we are; there would be no point in turning tail when all he would be doing is delaying the inevitable."  
Alistair's hands clenched into angry fists. "Becoming a Grey Warden is not a punishment, it is an honour. If you make him a warden, you cheapen us all! Ask anything of me, but don't ask me to call that... that monster a brother!"  
One look at her face told him he was wasting his breath; he knew how stubborn she could be, it had been one of the reasons he'd fallen in love with her. He hadn't known it would be that same trait which would tear them apart.

He buried his feelings for her, now too painful to dwell on, and a glint of steel hardened his eyes as he looked at her. "Fine, if you want Loghain so badly, I will resign from the Grey Wardens and take up my position as King."  
She lifted the massive two-handed sword and swung it at his neck.

He woke with a start, sweat soaking his body, his hand at his throat. He swore under his breath and rubbed a hand angrily across his short hair. Three days had passed since the Landsmeet, and Elissa had left Denerim for Redcliffe. He wished he could put the nightmare to rest. Maker knows he wanted to forget that awful scene; the problem was, he didn't want to forget her.

He grabbed a robe that had been thrown over the bottom of the bed and pulled it on. He hated how empty the bed felt without her. With a heavy heart, he walked out onto the balcony and leaned on the balustrade, watching the dawn slowly lighten the sky. Sometimes, he wondered if it would have been easier if the Landsmeet had ended the way his nightmare always did. At least in death, he wouldn't be haunted by memories of Elissa, the way she touched him, the beautiful smile she reserved only for him.  
But, in his anger, he'd thrown all that away. He'd wanted his first act as King to be the execution of Loghain, but he knew Elissa or Riordan would have invoked the right of conscription. His fury had turned on Anora; he'd told her to forswear all rights to the throne for herself and any heirs she might bear. Of course, she'd adamantly refused.

For a moment, her life had hung in the balance, until Loghain had begged his daughter to see reason. Perhaps, it was seeing the sacrifice that Elissa was willing to make, that made Anora swallow her pride and take the oath. After doing this, she was exiled from Ferelden.

The Landsmeet had come to an end, leaving two broken hearts in its wake. Alistair had returned with Eamon to the Arl's estate in order to gather his things and say goodbye to the friends he'd made. Wynne had tried to talk to him, but for once he didn't want to hear the wisdom of her words, and after saying his farewells to everyone, he'd retreated to his room.

Upon opening the door, he'd seen Elissa sitting on the bed, her hand clasped around the pendant in which she kept a petal from the rose he'd given her. Hearing his footsteps, she had risen and faced him. "Alistair, it doesn't have to be this way. It's not too late to change your mind."  
"You made your choice, Elissa. There's nothing more to be said."  
She'd reached out to him, her hand closing around his wrist. "It wasn't a choice between you and Loghain. It was a tactical decision to ensure we had every chance to end the Blight." She swallowed hard, trying to clear the painful lump in her throat. "I wanted us to see this through to the end, together."  
He wrenched his arm away from her. "Then you should have thought of that before you recruited that traitor!" Rage burned so brightly within him that it blinded him to what he was losing. "How would you have felt if I'd asked you to spare Rendon Howe and make him a Grey Warden?"

He knew, at that moment, he'd gone too far. She lifted her head, and he could almost see the walls coming up around her. She met his gaze, and guilt pierced his heart when he saw a return of the coldness in her eyes. The last time he'd seen that was at Ostagar when she'd still been dealing with the slaughter of her family. Now, it was his actions that had brought that iciness back.

She'd strode to the door, then paused and said, "Your desire to avenge Duncan has clouded your judgement. But just take a moment, and ask yourself what Duncan would say about your actions this day."  
Fury had flooded his veins, along with a large dose of pain at the mention of his friend. Through gritted teeth, he quietly told her, "Get out."

All he had now was a lonely life ahead of him. Not wanting to dwell on this, he spent his days learning about what duties he would have once he was crowned King, and at night, he would lay awake, trying desperately not to think of Elissa.

The days turned into weeks, but the pain of her absence never eased. Then word was received that the bulk of the Darkspawn horde was heading towards Denerim. Refusing to listen to his advisors who urged him to get to safety, he donned his armour, grabbed his sword and shield, and led the Knights to the gates of Denerim to defend the city.

It was there that he got a glimpse of Elissa, Riordan, and Loghain charging at the front of the massive army she'd gathered. At that moment, he heard Duncan's voice as clearly as if he'd been standing beside him. 'Remember, you are both Grey Wardens. I expect you to be worthy of that title.' An anguished expression crossed his face as he realised that he had failed his friend and mentor.

When the darkspawn were cleared, he caught up to Elissa as she made her way to Riordan. "Wait, please. I know now that I was wrong. Let me stand with you."  
A small smile trembled on her lips, but she shook her head. "I don't know who was right or wrong, Alistair, and I suppose it doesn't matter now."  
Her hand lifted to his face, but remembering the times he'd pulled away, she let it drop. "This wasn't how I envisioned this day." She dragged a hand across her eyes, looking weary. "Ferelden needs its King, so I can't put you at risk."  
She started to turn away, but then faced him again. "This may be the last chance I'll get, so allow me to say that it has been an honour. I know you will be a great King, and... and, no matter how things ended, know that I will always love you." Her voice broke and she turned swiftly on her heel and walked away.

He stared at her, devastated by the realisation, that through his own fault, he'd lost the one thing that mattered to him. He buried the pain deep down, knowing now was not the time to dwell on his mistakes. Even though he could not fight by her side, he would not leave his people, and so he pulled the remaining soldiers and Knights into a cohesive unit and prepared to defend the city gates. In this endeavour, he was joined by Zevran, Oghren, Leliana, and Shale.

Zevran clapped Alistair on the back. "It is good to fight by your side again, my young friend." Then there had been no time for anything else as darkspawn swarmed the gates. They fought for what seemed like hours until the tainted creatures were dead.

When it became clear that there were no more coming, they all sat down to rest, and Leliana's gaze settled on Fort Drakon. "I hope Loghain has the decency to take the final blow."  
Alistair turned to her, puzzled. "So long as the Archdemon dies, what does it matter who kills it?"  
He saw the looks being passed between his friends, then Zevran said, "I guess you were never told why it had to be a Grey Warden who kills the Archdemon?"  
Alistair shook his head. "I assume it has something to do with the taint in our blood."

Zevran inclined his head. "Si, you are correct. If anyone other than a Grey Warden kills the Archdemon, it will not die, but instead move on to another darkspawn body and be reborn. But when a Grey Warden kills the Archdemon, its essence is drawn to the taint in the warden's blood. A darkspawn is an empty, soulless vessel, but a Grey Warden is not, so when the essence of the Archdemon enters the warden's body, it dies..." Zevran looked at Alistair. "And so does the warden."

Alistair stood up, his body tight with fear. "How can you know this?"  
It was Leliana who answered. "Elissa came to my room after Riordan had explained everything to her. She just needed someone to talk to."  
The bard's words were like daggers to his heart, knowing he should have been the one that Elissa turned to. "Is that..." He cleared his throat as emotions swelled within him. "Is that why she refused to let me join them?"  
Oghren snorted. "Aye, ya silly sod! Why else would she leave ya behind?"  
Alistair's face paled. "Oh Maker, no. I have to get to her."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

As Alistair strode away, the four friends looked at each other. "I am not going to be the one to explain to Elissa that he died while trying to reach her," Leliana said.  
"Si, I think I'd rather face the Archdemon."  
They each nodded in agreement and caught up with Alistair. He turned at the sound of their footsteps. "You all need to help defend the gates in case there's another wave of darkspawn."  
"I think Elissa would rather we defend you, no?" Leliana said cheerfully.

They made quick time, taking side roads and avoiding the bulk of the fighting. At the entrance to Fort Drakon, they were shocked by the number of darkspawn corpses strewn around. "Looks like they've had quite the fight on their hands."  
Seeing the pained expression on Alistair's face, Leliana patted his arm. "Don't beat yourself up, Alistair. You've done your fair share of fighting while defending your people."  
He managed a smile, but said, "I'd rather have been defending her. Come on, let's get moving."

There were only a few stragglers to deal with as they made their way through the fort. They'd just reached the top floor when a shockwave knocked them all to the ground. Groaning, everyone picked themselves up. "Merda, what was that?" Zevran asked.  
Alistair's face was white with fear. "I... I think that was the backlash from the death of the Archdemon." He staggered and his hand clutched at a table as his legs shook. "I'm too late."  
Zevran put out a steadying hand. "No, no, my friend. She may yet live."

The glimmer of hope in Alistair's eyes was almost too painful to see, but it was better than the lost, defeated look that had been there a moment earlier. He pulled in a deep breath and walked towards the double doors that led on to the roof.

He saw Eamon climbing to his feet, looking like he'd been chewed up and spat out. The Arl managed to raise a hand in greeting. A few yards away, Wynne was being helped up by Sten. The apprehension inside Alistair blossomed into a full-blown panic when he couldn't see Elissa. He ran out onto the roof, checking bodies as he went by. It was Wynne who shouted to him and pointed him in the right direction.

He ran, scanning the area, then he saw her body on the ground; one leg seemed to be twisted at an unnatural angle, and blood trickled from numerous wounds. He dropped to his knees by her side and his hand trembled as he pulled off his glove and tried to find a pulse in her throat. "Oh Maker, please, don't be dead. I can't..."

His breath hitched as he felt a flutter beneath the pads of his fingers. He waited a moment just to make sure he hadn't imagined it, then he turned and shouted for Wynne. The mage staggered over to him, supported by Leliana and Zevran. "All right, young man. There's no need for you to shout. I may be getting on, but I'm not deaf."

She looked down at Elissa. "Maker, she did take quite the battering. That shockwave took us all by surprise." Alistair held Elissa's hand while Wynne healed the worst of the wounds. The mage finally sat back on her heels and wiped a hand across her brow. "That's the best I can do for the moment. Let's get her somewhere safe where she can rest."

Alistair carefully picked her up, and as they started back towards the doors, Sten joined them, a body slung over his shoulder.  
Alistair glimpsed black hair. "Loghain?"  
"Yes. He is dead."  
Wynne pushed back a loose strand of hair as she said, "He made the sacrifice willingly."  
Alistair glanced at her. "I suppose that means I should declare him a hero?"  
But Wynne shook her head. "No, Loghain's final act should not detract from all that you and Elissa did. You both worked tirelessly to bring Ferelden together, so the accolade of hero belongs to you two."

Alistair's mind went back to the time at Flemeth's hut when the betrayal had still been fresh in their minds. It had been Elissa who had got them back on track, it was her determination and courage that got them the allies they needed. She had led them, he had just followed. "No, she is the hero, not I."  
Wynne sighed. "You are too hard on yourself, Alistair."

They returned to the palace, and while the others were shown to their rooms for some much-needed rest, Alistair carried Elissa to his own chambers. He laid her carefully on the sofa and started removing her armour, then washed away the dirt and bloodstains. He dressed her in one of his shirts and placed her in the large bed.

Just as he was pulling the covers over her, Wynne entered. "Ah, she looks much better now that all the blood and grime has been cleaned away." She smiled at Alistair. "Now, if you could muster up some elfroot tea and a vial or two of lyrium, I can finish healing her."  
He glanced at Elissa, and Wynne chuckled. "Don't worry, she'll still be here when you get back."

With a smile, he left the room and was met by a messenger. "Your Majesty, I'm to inform you that Arl Eamon, Bann Teagan, and First Enchanter Irving recently arrived and are in the drawing room." "Oh, thank you. Could you have someone make a pot of elfroot tea and bring it to my chambers? Also, do you know if we have any vials of lyrium?"  
The young man bowed. "Not to my knowledge, Your Majesty, but perhaps the First Enchanter can help with that? Also, I was asked to find out what you wanted to be done with Loghain's body?"  
Alistair scrubbed a hand through his hair. "Prepare him for a journey to Weisshaupt Fortress. It's tradition for the slayer of the Archdemon to be laid to rest there."

With a bow, the messenger left to carry out his tasks, while Alistair went to the drawing room. He stayed only long enough to retrieve a few vials of lyrium and make sure everyone was well, then he returned to Wynne. While she was healing Elissa, he went to have a wash and change out of his armour. He tucked the cotton shirt into his trousers and returned to his room.

When Wynne had finished with the healing, she retired to her own bedchamber. Alistair pulled his chair close to the bed and took hold of Elissa's hand, wishing she would regain consciousness. At some point, he dozed off. An increase of pressure around his hand woke him. He opened his eyes, and by the flicker of a nearby candle, saw that Elissa was drowsily watching him, a smile on her lips.

He was out of the chair in an instant and pulled her into his arms. He heard the swift intake of breath, then her hand patted his back. "I'm still a bit sore. Could you maybe loosen those strong arms of yours a little?"  
He did so with a chuckle, but she felt a tremor run through his body.  
"I'm all right, Alistair," she said softly.  
His face was pressed into the curve of her throat and shoulder, then she felt wet drops hit her skin and realised he was crying. She tightened her arms around him, and the tears she'd held back since the Landsmeet now fell.  
He pulled back to look at her. "Maker, I thought I was never going to see you again. I'm so sorry for everything," he whispered brokenly.

She ran a hand gently down his cheek, wiping away the tears. "I shouldn't have just dumped that on you. I honestly thought he would fight to the death, but when he surrendered, it seemed like we could put him to use. But I should have spoken to you in private."  
He shook his head. "There was no time, and I shouldn't have lost my temper." He looked away for a moment. "You were right about Duncan. He would have been angry with the way I acted." His golden-brown eyes were filled with sadness when he looked at her. "Can you ever forgive me?"

Elissa wrapped her arms around his neck. "I already have. Funny how being on the verge of death can put things into perspective."  
He chuckled, then captured her lips in a passionate kiss. When it ended, he smiled, then sat up abruptly looking sheepish. "I was meant to get you some food when you awoke. Wynne's going to kill me."  
Elissa laughed. "I'm fine, and you're exhausted. When was the last time you actually slept?"  
"Well, I was sleeping when you woke up."  
She ran a thumb along the shadows beneath his eyes. "Alistair..." She patted the other side of the bed.  
"Well, I guess I haven't been sleeping too well. But there's something I need to do first." He stood up and walked over to a chest of drawers. For a moment, he stared at the small wooden box. His thumb ran over the delicate carving of two joined hearts, then with a deep breath, he picked up the box and returned to the bed.

"I've been wanting to ask this for a while, but there never seemed a good time, until now." He cleared his throat nervously, and a drop of sweat rolled down his temple. "Elissa Cousland, will you marry me?"  
He removed the lid from the box and revealed the ring nestled in dark blue silk that matched the colour of her eyes. The ring was almost a reflection of the carving on the box, except that a pair of small griffon wings lay behind the hearts.  
When he heard a watery sniffle, he glanced up quickly. "Oh Maker, I knew this was too soon. I'm sorry-"  
His words were cut short by the pressure of her soft lips on his. "Yes, Alistair. With all my heart, yes."  
A joyful smile lit up his face and with trembling hands, he slid the ring onto her finger, then bent and pressed a kiss to it. He framed her face with tender hands, "I love you, Elissa."  
"And, I love you, Alistair."  
His arms wrapped around her and their lips joined in a loving kiss. She pulled him down to the mattress and curled up against him. His hand held hers and they whispered words of love until sleep claimed them.

A week later, Alistair was crowned King and formally presented his betrothed to the people of Ferelden. A cacophony of cheers lifted the roof, but none were louder than their friends and companions. Six months later, they were married amidst much pomp and circumstance, but they barely noticed their grand surroundings as they only had eyes for each other. 


End file.
